looking for the light

acreativebeing-looking-for-the-light

acreativebeing-mollycoddle-yarns-02

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Hi everyone!

Some of you know that this year has been tough for me. As a result, I am now being treated for a severe depression.

I am in a very dark place right now, and I am looking for the light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel.

So I’m taking a break. Taking a moment, pressing pause on my life; to figure out which path to take, and in what direction.

I will continue to blog, albeit sporadically, because I am still creating things. Crochet used to be what keeps me sane, and I’m trying really hard to find peace in crafting again. As long as I’m crafting, I’m alive, and as long as I’m alive, I might be able to find my way out of the darkness.

Thanks for sticking with me; I hope to be back in full force soon.

xo,
wink

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204 Comments

  1. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  2. Ik hoop dat je je snel weer beter zult voelen! Lieve groet,Loes

  3. Ik hoop dat je dat licht snel bereikt. Een depressie is een van de zwaarste dingen die een mens kan overkomen.

    Een hele dikke knuffel voor sterkte en hopelijk tot snel!

  4. My heartfelt wishes I send to you for your recovery. You are such a talented fiber arts artist. My best wishes to you.

  5. Een depressie is geen pretje. Neem je tijd en beterschap.

  6. Sending you hug,get well soon x

  7. We believe in you. Behind you 100%! And BTW, lovely yarn you’re using for that scarf!

  8. Take it easy, take your time, do what want and what is right for you. You’ll get there. Big Hug!

  9. Arme, arme jij…. Ik voel volkomen met je mee, heb het helaas zelf ook meegemaakt. Ben blij dat je je wat beter voelt inmiddels. En wat voor prachtige shawl ben je nu aan het haken als ik mag vragen en welk garen gebruik je??

    Lieve groetjes,
    Brigit.

  10. Sending you love and light, my friend. You are strong and brave and you will get through this. Here for you, always. xxx

  11. Oh Wink, big hugs to you from Australia!!! I don’t know how it feels but I wanted to tell you you are an amazing and extremely inspiring lady. I wish you well

  12. Please take care of yourself – your blog is an inspiration to many and all your readers are rooting for you to get through this. xx

  13. I am so sorry to hear that you are not that well. W
    ill pray for you

  14. I understand fully where you are right now. I too have suffered depression and it is not a good place to be. You will get through it and when you do your creative juices will flow once again. Take care and I wish you all the best. X

  15. I send you my very best wishes and hope you will be back with us soon.

  16. Sorry you’re not in a good place. Keep looking for that light…..it is there waiting for you to kind it. Big hugs…..take good care x

  17. I hug you without knowing you, because you are a wonderful special soul.

  18. Thinking of you, and wishing you everything you need to feel better. I understand where you are, hang on in there.

  19. Hello, I don’t actually know you, but I feel connected because I’m also being treated for depression right now. Crochetting helps me a lot. And also my blog brings a little smile on my face. I wish you all the best and don’t give up, we’ll get through this somehow. It may take some time, but hang on!
    Sigrid x

  20. I hope your love of crafting and crochet will help you through this difficult time.
    Sending loving light your way.

  21. Hang in there! I too have depression and being treated for it – things will get better!
    For many years now, crocheting has given me peace of mind when things really look dark. Please know that all your online readers are wishing you well!

  22. Wink, if you remember nothing else, remember that many have been in the dark and have come though to discover daily happiness and peace, even when they had thought it impossible. So don’t give up!
    Just take one step at a time. You know how it is, one stitch at a time makes something that looks to be unraveled into something wonderful. Until then, may the joy and inspiration you have given us come home to you and remain upon you!
    Prayers and hugs, Boo

  23. Goeie moed en verzorg je maar goed. Dikke knuffel. Yasmine

  24. Hold fast,go slow.We are all with you. Take care Sandy

  25. Hopelijk dat je gauw weer een lichtpuntje ziet ,wink .
    Ik volg je vanuit Marokko en ik vind dat je zo prachtig kan haken .
    Heel veel sterkte .
    Grosses bises , Ingrid

  26. I was only thinking this morning how I hadn’t received any email of late alerting me to a new post (not on FB). I know only too well of this place you are in at the moment but I will say that by taking time out to concentrate on you, you will find your happy place again. Look for the light in the darkness as it is there! Just be kind to you! I don’t know you, except for meeting your exceptional talent via a website, and to me you are amazing! All the best to you Wink! Sending you happiness from Australia x

  27. Sending good wishes for a light for you. I have been there and its not easy but meditation helped as well as crochet. It’s zen, you know that, though. Take care and hope you are better very soon. Sending a smile from sunny Australia xo

  28. My heart goes out to you…
    Maybe try a different craft…..it might help move you on a little….fabric painting is good fun

  29. Thinking of you and sending you my very best wishes.

    Angie

  30. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve found yourself in this place, but you’ve already taken the most important step: asked for help. I hope the light finds its way back to you soon.

  31. You are important. It’s great that you are taking time to look after yourself. I suffer from depression too. I hope it helps to know that people are thinking of you.

  32. I haven’t been following your blog long but you are an amazingly talented person! You seem to be genuinely caring even for people you’ve never met. It shows through in your ability and willingness to share your gift with others. I’ve been in the dark place you are struggling through now. Probably for different reasons but it can and will get better! Keep your chin up, lean on the people who love you, therapy and medication really helped me a lot and with time I didn’t need the meds anymore and now I only sporadically see a therapist. If you want to get well and feel happy and full of light and life again then you’ll get there!

    I hope you feel better soon.

    *hugs* from Nampa, ID, USA

  33. Well, that is not a good place to be, but remember that how hard it looks if every day you make a small effort to stand and move forward you will recover… Don’t look for the light to far away from you, I am sure that it is right next to you, with you. Our light, the one inside us, that is the one that makes us go on… And I am sure that you have that light in you, just need to turn the switch on again :) apart the passion for crafting that helps a lot, there is something that helped me a lot, and I can assure you that I really don’t like it, fitness! Yep, exercising in a gymn with lots of people completely different from me, new people that I didn’t knew before and that I didn’t want to, that helped me, I got really stronger… Really hope you get better soon, best wishes… Noelia

  34. Dear Wink my thoughts are with you I am also being treated for severe depression, I won’t say I know how you feel because depression is a very personal illness and no two people feel the same. Crafting ( including crochet and card making using various mediums) and a very good friend are helping me, sometimes I just sit with a pad of paper and coloured pencils I don’t draw anything in particular sometimes it’s small doodles other times I just scribble I always aim to head towards bright happy colours.
    Take care honey and try and take comfort in knowing that there’s a lot of crafter’s who care and are praying for you no matter what their faith is .

  35. Please take heart from all the comments, love and supporting messages, Boo said it beautifully. I have been there too (I did a bit of crafting and cried to tomato plants, pulling weeds can be very theraputic!) but be reassured, brighter days will come again. You bring so much joy to others, reach out, ask for help. You can do this! XX

  36. Sending you love, and hope you find your light again soon xx

  37. I’m so sorry for your current state of mind. I have been bi-polar since I was a teen-ager (I am 65 now) and only got the right medication when I was 50 so I totally understand the dark place you are in how and so wish things will improve quickly for you.

  38. Het komt goed meisje, ook al zie je dat nu niet. Soms stapje vooruit, dan weer achteruit. Maar het is zo moeilijk en hard werken, je kan beter botten breken.

  39. Sending lots of positive love and energy your way. I know you don’t know me, but I also crochet, so that means we can send love. :) I am sorry you’re going through this, but I’m glad you’re getting help, and being open, that can only be a good thing.

  40. I started following you recently and am amazed at your talent. I went thru a depression several years ago. I turned to God and searched for His help and found great peace, joy and strength. He answered my prayers and saved me. If you turn to him thru the Bible you will find John 14:27 My Peace I Give unto you. Read His Word and God will help you .With all my love and hope you feel better quickly

    • This I agree with. I was diagnosed with bipolar depression, and w hen nothing helped including meds, I finally yielded myself to God. Jesus has done it all and his love never fails. Trust him…he really is the answer. It’s been years now, and that problem has not returned. Praying for you.

  41. Wink, I so enjoy your posts, and I wish you all the best. It’s quite a coincidence, as I’m in some intensive treatment for depression right now. Good for us for taking care of ourselves! Be well, dear.

  42. Hope you feel better soon!!

  43. Wishing you love and light for a speedy recovery, at the moment you are the most important person in your life.

  44. Sending you lots of virtual hugs and hoping that you can find your way through this difficult time. Crochet, and seeing beautiful crochet blogs such as yours, got me through some very dark days with depression and I hope that your crafting can help you also. We are all here if you need anything at all. Please let us know how you are doing when you feel able to, and we will support you through the highs and lows, light and dark. Xx

  45. I’m so sorry to hear that you are not well. Take time to heal, that is most important. I know from my own struggle with a burn out that time is the only thing that helps. Don’t let people push you into doing things that you don’t feel ready for.

    *crochet hugs and kisses*

    Esther

  46. Get well soon Wink. I love all your work and blogging, so will wait for as long as it takes. Godbless xxx

  47. Marinka I had noticed that your blogging was less frequent but thought you were busy with other things. I’m so sorry to hear it has been such a difficult year. I will be thinking of you and trusting you will find your way back.

  48. Sorry to read this. Will be sending positive thoughts. Take care and hope to hear from you again soon.

  49. Get well soon talented friend. I hope the tunnel is short and you can see light soon.
    Warm hugs, Heike xx

  50. So sorry to hear about your dark period but remember that nothing lasts forever and you will emerge from the darkness. It may take time but try to take each moment as it comes, little by little just open the veil a bit by bit. I know something of depression but you can and will come out of it…keep creating and sending you lots of love and light.

  51. Try to keep crocheting. Activity keep us alive. Kisses

  52. am glad you have reached out and sought help, indeed that’s a massive step on that road to reach the light. you will get through, we all here supporting you. crafts can be a god send so def enjoy it and use it as your therapy. best of wishes ;-)

  53. I wish you recover speed. Abraçades!

  54. I too have battled depression and watched many family member deep in the battle. Please know you are not alone. Please do what you need to to see you through this. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Best wishes.

  55. May peace find your soul. And it will in time. Take it one step at a time and you will find the light. Hugs

  56. Wink, know that you are much loved by so so many. Feel their love & care & do what is right for you.
    Your light shines inside you & you will feel it again.
    BIG hugs & gratitude from me for your love, generosity & inspiration, you are not alone,
    Lynn xx

  57. Sending you a big hug from Ohio…I hope you I move through this
    quickly. Do you know the book, Crocheting Saved My Life? It was written with you in mind. Please try to post weekly. Staying connected to the world wide community you created could be helpful. I will be thinking of you.

  58. You are a creative being and like me and many others you will survive this darkness and it will be integrated later into your psyche shadow. Welcome to the human race. I’m 63 and have had several clinical depressive episodes, about 6, during transitional stages of my life. It’s scary, dark, isolating, while u go through it. All I can say is, I feel your pain. Take your medication, talk therapy, and I’ll pray for you. Hope this gave you the comfort of understanding. This will pass. Is it your first dark episode?

  59. Dear Wink, All the best to you. I too struggle with depression, and it sucks. Put yourself first, you are loved and it is OK to take a break. I admire your courage, and you are in my prayers. Yarn and hooks pull us through. xoxoxo

  60. I am so sorry about your illness and I hope you are back into the light very very soon. I so enjoy your spirit and your creativit

  61. Wink, I just discovered you through Esther’s videos and I am making your wonderful Scheepjes CAL patterns from last fall! Thank you so much for sharing your gift with us. Over the years I have been to the darkside, sometimes for quite a stay and had a short visit last week. My offering to you: See it as a storm passing through. Know the sun is shining even if you can’t see or feel it. You are love/loved/light. Soak in all of our healing, loving thoughts, wrap yourself in them, find comfort in our love for you, a wonderful creative being. Hugs, love and blessings on the Journey, Flo

  62. I wish you peace, i was once in a dark place, and reconnecting with Christ helped me a lot, you dont have to be a “born again christian” type, but simple prayer/meditation does wonders.

  63. Take care! Depression es tough but You can beat it. Give Yourself time and step by step You will feel better. I really hope that day comes soon. A great jug from Mexico

  64. Thinking of you,have hope and love it will get better

  65. Zorg goed voor jezelf en neem je tijd. Ik ben blij dat je je creativiteit hebt en hoop dat dat je er mede doorheen zal helpen! Knuffel uit Spanje X

  66. I am so sorry you are going through this; you are so talented and inspiring. Know you are loved and appreciated by many. I’m sending love, light, prayers, and joy–I know you you will find the joy, praying for a speedy recovery and I care very much!

  67. baie sterkte. dink aan jou

  68. I am sorry to hear of your depression but I hope your medication is helping in that area. I have a suggestion that may help a little…try getting involved with people who are crafty like you but who don’t know of your depression. I worked in the mental health field for over 20 years and the one thing that happens when someone is not feeling well is that they focus all their energy on themselves but one needs to redirect that energy outwards towards something else. I have seen patient after patient get better once they grasp that concept. Maybe it will help you. It doesn’t even involve additional meds.

  69. I am so sorry to hear this. You will get through this. Please know you bring so much light and happiness to so many we love you

  70. This too will pass. My motto from one crochet artist to another “Crochet – calms the mind, soothes the soul and makes the black dog dance in a pretty little dress”. xxx

  71. Prayers for you… Sometimes the light is hiding, but it is there. I walk this path daily.

  72. Heel naar om te horen! Neem je tijd, en overhaast niets. Ik hoop dat je het licht snel weer zult vinden, en zal weten welke kant je op wilt. Heel veel sterkte de komende tijd, en hopelijk helpt het haken je hoofd weer wat lichter en helderder te maken.
    X Monique

  73. I hope you believe in God or another supreme being. Have faith that I God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Life is very difficult at times, but it is also very enjoyable. May God give you strength to get through this trying time.

  74. I realy feel your pain. I dont fill yours, I felt mine. and for a long time creating was easing it, but the mind does’nt stop. THE WORK helped me alot. I know how to be happy. try it! you will find your way! beacause it’s inside you, and its beautiful, pure and happy!
    thanks for all your great creations!
    http://thework.com/
    rachel

  75. Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery. It is always darkest before the dawn.

  76. I’m so sorry you’re battling this mind crippling disease. I hope you do find the light, its there, continue to reach for it. Thanks god for your craft. I was in a dark place for a while and If it wasn’t for my crochet addiction i don’t think I would’ve made it through. Keep fighting!!

  77. Be kind to yourself and trust that all will be well. You’ve been so generous and inspired many with your talent. I wish you all the very best as you find your way
    Love and prayers

  78. Dear Wink,

    I never know if the comment posts I’ve sent since I found your blog have gone through to you since they are sent internationally from the USA. But, I am sending my good wishes to you, and I wanted you to know that I have such empathy for you. I have been in your circumstances more than once in my life, and am going through a mild depression right now. I don’t know your circumstances, but I do know what depression is. I wish you so much joy, and the hopes of a speedy recovery. I have learned that the mantra ‘and this too shall pass’ is a good one.

    God Bless and take care of you.

  79. So touched by your post today. I had no idea of your struggle… I too have lived often in the darkest places of my inner self…. I send Love Light Comfort and Grace in the hopes that You will find a small ray of hope to get you through those darkest of places…. Seek help where You are able… research diet changes that might also help. <3

  80. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know you might not believe it now but you are a talented and valuable person and it will get better. Stick with your treatment (or seek new ones if it’s not working for you). Wishing you peace and happiness.

  81. Oh, Wink! I am so sorry for this darkness! Praying for you and I hope that you will soon find peace and comfort and light. You are precious and you are loved!

  82. I just found your website a couple of weeks ago and that is because I have been diagnosed with an incurable disease and making colorful things has always made me happy. When I saw your beautiful, colorful items I felt happy right away. I have never seen a mandala in my life and still haven’t had a chance to google what it is. I thought they were rugs or baby blankets when I saw them. It doesn’t matter they made my day and now I have something new to me and bright and happy and very hippie, which describes me to a T. ) So I understand the depression and I hope your beautiful mind finds peace and joy again. You brought me some so it doesn’t matter that I don’t know anything about you yet as far as your health. I can tell you are bright and beautiful through your work. Peace & Love from my house to yours, Linda

  83. Wink, I am so sorry to hear about your severe depression!!! As a person who also “fell all the way to the bottom” due to life’s circumstances more than 15 yrs ago, I fully understand!!! It is a very difficult illness to cope with. Thank God there are many more new ways to treat depression than when I first was diagnosed. I am very fortunate I did seek help but despite all that it was suggested to me to seek Christ. Thank God for that advice as I discovered it is one of the most important decisions I have made and becoming a Christian truly helped and continues to help me as I will be coping with depression most likely the rest of my life but I also still maintain regular doctor appointments and medication. My doctors have all worked together in helping me and I am stable and feel more like myself again. It takes time to heal and don’t let that despair you!!! NEVER BUT NEVER GIVE UP!!!! I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for God’s miraculous healing and recovery from this debilitating disease!!!! Know that you are not alone as so many care about you and love you!!!! HUGS!!!!

  84. Hang in there, it will get better!

  85. The Light is out there…YOU and YOURS are in my prayers…

  86. Dear friend. Get well soon. I am very impress of all the people who writes to you and wishes you a speedy recovery. You have made an impression on all of us. you are love.
    When you feel depress think on all of us who are writing to you even we don’t know you
    personally. You are a precious Child of God. God loves you. Be strong and courageous.
    Someone told me once ” Mind over body”. I suffer from anxiety when things go wrong.
    then I think God loves me and He is going to take care of me. And it works I am doing well. Take care love and Kisses. Flor

  87. Depression is a dark and lonely place. I have just come out of a 6 month long battle w/ it, and thank God to have survived. You will be in my prayers, stay strong and try to let people in to help you as best you and they can. God bless you.

  88. Heel veel sterkte en kracht! Been there, done that and still alive! X

  89. Constantly remind yourself that this is only temporary. Things will get better and things will not stay the way they are now. Remind yourself every day. This is temporary, you just have to ride it out. And, yes, I speak from experience – 27+ years of experience! Best wishes and big hugs. Kim

  90. I understand. I suffer from severe depression and post traumatic distress disorder after losing my teenage son. Crochet and knitting are what keep me sane. As long as my hands are busy, I cannot focus on sad things.
    I know you will be back and stronger than ever. Take good care of yourself. We all will be here waiting for your return.
    I will be praying for you.

  91. Tijd voor jezelf! Goed om hulp te krijgen als leven even donker is. Lief meisje, sterkte. En ik duim voor je dat de positieve jij weer snel terug komt.

    Big huggs and love, Margaret

  92. Hi Wink,
    You should know that Jesus loves you more than anyone else ever could. Jesus knows about all that you are going through and has experienced everything and more than you ever will. He loves you so much and He is with you no matter where you are even in the depths of depression. There is nothing you can do and nowhere you can go no matter how deep that He cannot find you. May you find joy and peace and all the love you will ever want in Jesus Christ. Go to Him and He will hold you in His arms and give you HIS PEACE no matter what happens in your life.

    God Bless you and keep you in Jesus name I pray, Amen

    With love and prayers,
    Debrielle Welch

    PS You are loved and admired by us all and you and your work bring great joy to many all around the world. Hold on one day at a time and never give up. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! GIVE UP!

  93. Please take care of yourself. I look forward to receiving your emails. We all need you. You are in my prayers.

  94. I will be praying for you and know you will get through this.

  95. Hi Wink

    I’ so sorry to hear that you are unwell and will miss your regular blogs. The most important thing is that you get well and you will be in my thoughts. Sending you a great big hug. Sandra

  96. The only thing you can count on is that things change. Sometimes it takes a long time and some times not. But, brighter days are ahead. Take care of yourself and do whatever you need to do. You have given so much of yourself to this blog and to us readers. Keep your energy for yourself for awhile. I hope things turn around for you soon. Jen

  97. I understand. It is very hard, been there myself. Take your time and do what makes you feel better. You are not alone. Take time to be kind to yourself. xxx

  98. So sorry you are going through such a dark time. Wishing you all the best. Hang in there because it does get better. I know you can’t see it now but you will. Depression is a terrible illness. Love and blessings to you and yours.

  99. Praying for Love and Light. Hang in there…

  100. Sending you love, support and positive thoughts and hopes for a speedy recovery. You have inspired me so much, I hope these few words help a little xxx

  101. dear wink: thanks for this email. keep doing what you are doing. a day at a time, you can climb out of darkness. and we will be here to greet you once again and share our light together.

    also remember that with every “stitch”, however broadly you want to define “stitch”, you wrestle just a little more light out of the gloom. and then one day, as you know from all creative work, you have fashioned your work/life back together again.

    be looking for you back on campus soon. melissa

  102. Hey Wink! I really hope you can see the light soon. All the best. Regula

  103. You’re doing the right thing…taking care of yourself first before moving onto other things. If we’re in a space where that need is met then we can have hope we’ll soon move past the dark into the light.

    God speed.

  104. Neem je tijd! Probeer te genieten van de kleine dingen en ik wens je het allerbeste toe!

  105. Think of all the lovely comments you have received as a warm, soft blanket to wrap yourself in.

  106. Oh, sweetie, I understand your pain. I deal with depression too and know those long dark tunnels all too well. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers. Take care of yourself.

  107. Dear Wink. So sorry to hear you arent feeling well. Depression is an awful illness. I know how horrible it can be to be in that dark place. I too have struggled.
    You are so beautifully creative. If you need to talk to someone you can always direct message me on Instagram where I am Anythingwithyarn.
    My thoughts
    Are with you
    Faith

  108. Dearest Marinke , wishing you peace in your heart & a swift return to the joy & sunshine of life. Love & blessings

  109. Keep fighting it .You have loads of talent .Take a breather try Zentangling,it works wonders .it is refered to yoga for the brain.helps me.xjune

  110. Hang in there! I hate those dark areas too. God be with you and may the Lord’s peace be with you always.

  111. Wink, you are very lucky that you found out what is wrong as I was suffering from the same thing for many years before I was diagnosed and I can tell you that there is a very big light at the end of that tunnel. Get comfortable, relax and put yourself in a serene place that you love for a few minutes every day and you will feel better for it, I know that you will overcome your battle.

  112. I will be thinking of you and sending you love from across the world. I hope you find your peace soon, and that crafting can help get you through this.

    Much love.

  113. Dear Wink

    I know very well of that light at the end of the tunnel. You are strong, you are extremely talented and you are loved …… you will and can beat and conquer that thing that keeps pulling you back. Have faith in yourself and know that you have many people praying for your recovery! God Bless.

  114. Dear Wink,
    I am so inspired by your creativity. Everyone is different so I hope you can deal with this TEMPERARY depression in your own way. No need to follow advice unless it rings true for you. Sending you aloha and light and beautiful colors. You will be well in time.

  115. Find your way out of this darkness and be happy

    Ladyblack from Paris

  116. Bless you for your openness. It’s so generously courageous when one gets Real like this, allowing others to do the same and to feel less self-judgement. This is why I started my own blog. I’m with you, Sister!

  117. Please hold on for better days. They are there for you. You are such a lovely talented person. You deserve to be happy. I’m sending you good thoughts and blessings for happiness.

  118. ❤️❤️

  119. Heel veel sterkte!

  120. A big hug from me to you, Wink!

  121. I am so sad to hear you are having a difficult time. These three things help me stay out of my head and helps me to remember I can work thru the difficulties:
    1. I am strong and this is a temporary situation
    2. Exercise however you can
    3. Get out of the house and help someone else. It will make them feel good and you feel better.

    I know that depression is very real and difficult, but there is sunshine, love and happiness on the other side waiting for you.

    Kind regards,
    Julsvern

  122. Chin up, Wink. I have been there, too. God bless you.

  123. beautiful blessings Wink.

  124. My thoughts are with you Wink. i hope you are better soon.

  125. Dear wink:
    I’m so sorry to hear that you are suffering from depression and that you are in a
    dark place. I will pray that my jesus will guide you safely and fill your heart with joy and
    peace soon. trust in Him. I have been through a very difficult year since june of 2014.
    and I have been feeling devastated and depessed. Jesus has been helping me and
    I am starting to get my life back I know that you can over come your difficulties. You
    are a beautiful person. Stay strong. Bless you.
    Stelle

  126. Hi Wink, l also suffer with depression and when l’m in that dark place l find all l do is sleep. There is a way through just keep on doing as much craft as you can. Get well soon.
    Love and hugs Karen. X

  127. Hi. Hope you feel happier soon. Sorry you are having such a bad time. Jeanette xx

  128. Just thought I’d send you a hug (((wink))) My husband regularly suffers from depression so I know how hard these things can be to fight. x

  129. I have just recently discovered you and find your work inspiring and beautiful. I love your use of color and texture and hope that you will continue to find peace and harmony in your life, in your work, and in your creativity. I read a book recently titled “How Crochet Saved My Life” by Kathryn Vercillo. Very interesting and filled with stories of other women’s journeys to happiness. I will remember you in my prayers that you find strength and courage to face your dark spaces head on and discover the light that is still shining there and always will be.

  130. Sending you much support thru the ethers.

  131. Thank you so much for sharing your pain. It isn’t easy to admit you are struggling, but by doing so, you are on the road to healing. I too suffered from depression for the past two years. For the first time in my life, I had a hard time “finding the light.” As an educator, everyday was a struggle just to get up and go to school and I hated every aspect of my life. I was exhausted all the time and just wanted to be alone. It took my boyfriends threats of breaking up with me that pushed me to find help. While I am still not healed completely, I am now on medication and with a therapist that has helped me to being to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am a changed person and I have so much energy it is amazing. I am also taking massive doses of Vitamin D which I also believe is part of my own healing. Knitting and crocheting are just so much a part of the process that I am glad to hear you will keep creating. You are such an inspiration with your designs and your blog. LOVE IT!! Be well.

  132. You have been an inspiration for me to craft. Thinking of you, praying for you. You can do it and get to the light. Do it.

  133. Wink, I’ve delayed letting you know that I made the Vintage Fan Ripple afghan for my great-nephew. They enjoy the warmth and beauty. Thanks for sharing the pattern. I look forward to reading your blog-emails. I hope you can continue them.Your patterns are spectacular! A big Thank you from all of us who use them. Encouraging thoughts from Ohio, USA.

  134. I too have mild depression as does most of my sisters.. Meds help most of the time. But I live in a state (Wyoming USA) that has a lot of daylight but also really cold in winter so I don’t get out much then. . Am also on high doses of Vitamin D. Its really hard. But don’t give up the fight!!!!

  135. Oh Wink – you are so special and so loved. I am sorry to learn that you are in such emotional pain right now. Sending healing thoughts and the hopes of a happier tomorrow – x

  136. I’m sorry you are going thru a rough patch, please hang in there, blessings and prayers

  137. Best wishes to you! I have been in the same exact spot as you are right now – many times over the years. You will get out of it – it takes time. I know – take it from me. It eventually gets better. All my best wishes and prayers to you. Take care and stay confident.

  138. You have such a beautiful talent. Just concentrate on how lucky you are to have it! You make many people happy with your ideas and creative things. Enjoy your place in the world. You will find a way. Look at all that you have accomplished.

  139. All the best to you Wink. I hope all these messages from all over the world help you in some way. We are all thinking of you. Paula

  140. Lieve Marinke,

    Wat naar om te horen dat je een zware depressie hebt. Ik heb het ook doorgemaakt. Gelukkig dat je een goede diagnose hebt gekregen en goede hulp krijgt. Ik wens je alle sterkte! Ik zou je allerlei wijze raad willen geven, maar de enige die weet wat je nodig hebt, ben je uiteindelijk zelf.

    (Geen raad, maar toch een tip – kan het weer niet laten -. Op Amazon.de zijn heel veel boeken te krijgen, geschreven door mensen die het zelf hebben doorgemaakt. Dat heeft mij indertijd geholpen. Lezen hoe anderen ermee omgingen. En lezen dat het inderdaad erg is, en dat ik geen aanstelster was omdat ik niets meer kon. ‘Shoot the damn dog’ is er eentje van. Iemand noemde depressie ook ‘the curse of the strong’. Zo sterk voelde ik me helemaal niet, maar ik vond het wel een opstekertje.)

    Meid, heel veel sterkte, en dank voor alle inspiratie en patronen die je gedeeld hebt op je blog!

  141. Thinking of you, I have my own journey through depression, it’s the reason I took up a crochet hook 5 years ago, on the recommendation that I try a creative hobby. Some days you make baby steps, some days giant leaps, some days even a step back, but you will reach the end of that tunnel one day, and you have many people cheering you along the way.

  142. I am truly sorry that you are going through depression – been there a couple of times. Remember that even though you are in a dark place, you are not alone. All of us who love and admire you are at your side. You can not see us – but you have all of our love and compassion surrounding you. Also remember that the people who hurt you in this world make up only a very, very small part of the humanity of this planet. In reading your blog, I know that you have a very good support group. You’re online friends will not abandon you. Take your time and rejoice in the wonderful human being that you are. :)

  143. Praying for your recovery. Enjoy your posts so much. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  144. wishing you love & peace & a resolution to your darkness. Life is hard & awful sometimes but it’s the greatest thing we will ever have & to survive is the prize. Only survive, that’s all you have to do x

  145. Wink, please take the time you need to work out your issues. So sorry that you’re going through this, but please know you’re not alone. Some of us have gone through depression, all of us are pulling for you. Hugs every day, girl.

  146. I will be sending good thoughts your way. Thank you for being there for all of us.

  147. I am so sorry that depression has robbed you of some of the light in your life. Know that you are not alone, that you are being thought of, and that light is being sent your way from Canada. Hold tight to your people and let them hold you tight back through this difficult time. Wishing you peace and joy,

    – J

  148. Dear Wink, Soak in the light of all the beauty that you have already created and shared with many others, including me, bringing them joy, which they in turn share with others…you yourself created a warm world in sharing your gifts …. always believe in the wonder of yourself and your gifts as you heal from sad depression, my friend. Know that we love you.

  149. Hi Wink. Sending love and a hope for the reappearance of the light really soon. Xo from Canada. A friend.

  150. lieve marinke, ik wens je alle goeds in de wereld toe, je hebt zo veel mensen blij gemaakt met je creativiteit, waaronder mij ook. ik wil je daar voor persoonlijk bedanken, je zal in mijn gedachten zijn tijdens het haken, ik stuur je veel kracht en liefde toe, en hoop dat het licht gauw terug komt in je leven!

  151. Sorry to hear that you’re unwell, through you I’ve completed a lovely blanket that makes me smile each time I look at it. I hope you find your smile soon xxx

  152. I know where you’re coming from. It will be alright. All things come to pass.
    For me, I look for calm and contentment. No fireworks and no super lows, just content.
    A lot of people care about you even though we don’t pipe up often.
    Take care. Hugs

  153. Dearest Wink, I am so sorry you are struggling. You are a lovely, generous, talented lady and I wish you a speedy return to happy sunshiney light. Sending hugs xx

  154. Keep your chin up and this too shall pass xx

  155. You are not alone! I’ve been struggling with clinical major depression on and off for almost my whole life (I’m in my 50s). Crocheting has been a huge help for me but not a cure-all. I take one day at a time and try to overlook the ignorant comments from those who are clueless about depression and don’t understand what. I learned to be open about it and when I was able to, I would educate others about depression – those who sincerely wanted to know,
    Take it a day at a time…

  156. Dearest Wink,
    I too have been there where you are now, take care of yourself and we will be here when you are ready. Sending prayers of love and strength (((HUGS))) <3

  157. Hi Wink. So sorry to hear of your problems. I wish you all the very best and a speedy recovery. Your blog is an inspiration and your work so creative – just love your designs and colours and hope that your passion for our wonderful craft will reassert itself more strongly than ever as you begin to feel better. Sending positive thoughts, Jenny. xx

  158. I’m sorry to hear that you’re suffering from depression. My husband is manic depressive and I understand how hard it is. I tell him to always remember we love him. I think you have a lot of people who love you judging by the comments. I “smudged” my house last week asking my guardian angels to rid it of evil and negativity and to bless it with peace & love. My husband, who is extremely “square” said the house felt different and asked what I did. He was in the best mood, too! It’s not for everyone but you might look into it. Lots of info on Pinterest! Blessings and peace.

  159. Hi wink, I too am in that same dark place, but remember you are well loved, and just take one day at a time….never easy, but tiny steps eh?..I wish you a very speedy recovery, and I love all your work. I hope you find peace and things get easier day by day….you take care of you x

  160. Knuffels en liefde komen jouw kant op! Neem je tijd!

  161. Take care and hope you are better very soon. Hugs and kisses from Brazil.

  162. Dear Wink,
    Wishing you inner strength for the battle ahead, courage to fight the demons, hope to carry you into the light and love to make it all worthwhile. Best wishes,
    Diny from Australia.

  163. I’m currently going through the same thing, and it’s a struggle to get out of bed each day, but I’m trying to crochet at least something each day to keep myself sane and somewhat productive. I hope everything works out for the both of us, and look forward to seeing you return to blogging.
    Love from the States.

  164. Sterkte Marinke, ik hoop dat je goede begeleiding hebt. Jammer dat je niet meer bij onze groep bent in Hoogeveen. Hoe gaat het in je nieuwe plaats ?

  165. Thank you for sharing honestly, you will survive, but it’s not easy, but there is light at the end of this tunnel and you will be stronger as a result.

  166. Hugs to you! I just recently found my way to your lovely blog. I too suffer from depression and without crochet I don’t know how I would have survived the last six months, going through a nasty divorce. It’s truly amazing how creating things helps us through the dark times.

  167. Sending prayers for blessings your way and for rest and heaing.

  168. You are such a beautiful soul and are so loved. Always xxx

  169. No words, never guessed…….. Still love you!

  170. Dearest Wink, I am going to ask a favor…that you be patient with yourself my love;). Small steps and look for simple joys. My thoughts and love are with you daily. Yes people you do not know but those you have touched are here for you and will be;))) xo

  171. Sterkte Wink, wees vooral lief en geduldig voor jezelf en probeer iedere dag 5 of meer dingen te benoemen die mooi zijn, waar je blij van wordt, etc. Het licht is er echt iedere dag, ook voor jou. Hopelijk ga je dat weer zien en vóelen. Xxx

  172. RIP Wink, I can’t believe you are actually gone and that there will never be another blog post from you again. None of us know what happened. Strength and love be with your family and friends xxx

  173. RIP Dear Sweet Wink
    I can only pray you’ve found that light you so despite were search for….
    May God Heal Your Soul Wink ♡♡♡♡♡

  174. Rest in peace beautiful, you were such a dear, such a talented person, even though we never met, I always appreciated your caring soul through your work. I’m very, truly sorry. My deepest condolences to your family and loved ones… Rest in peace.

  175. My deepest condolences to Winks family. May her light shine bright and forever. She will be missed by all.

  176. So very sorry that you never found that light……the creative world is a little darker without you…..

  177. I’m not usually one to comment but I’m so saddened that I need to express to Winks family and loved ones that she will stay in the hearts of the global crochet community. Love, light and strength to you all xxx

  178. Why Wink why? You were my big hero, my example. I’m suffering depressions too, but you where allways there to give me just that little push I needed. So sad nobody wasn’t able to give you that push.
    I sincerely hope you found the peace and light you needed so badly. My thoughts are with your family and beloved ones, they have to miss their beautiful, creative, crazy, hippie light.
    R.I.P. Wink…

  179. My thoughts are with the family and in my prayers.

  180. May your beautiful soul find peace now Wink. You are at peace and we, who loved you as the creative, caring, amazing person you were will miss you. My thoughts and prayers are with your family and your boyfriend.

  181. So sad we’ve lost you Wink. I will miss you so much. I pray you’ve find peace!
    Thank you for your light and inspiration. RIP.

  182. I am in shocked and saddened to hear of your passing, I wish u eternal sunshine….that elusive light at the end of the tunnel u were seeking hopefully it is yours…rest peacefully beautiful girl, u will be sorely missed

  183. Shocked … there but for the grace of G-d go I. Many years ago I saw nothing ahead – and at the very last moment something stopped me. The next day I went to therapy.

    A couple of years later, met my beautiful husband and we laughed and loved and lived — in spite of the cancer that came for him we had 10 years together, 8 of them married.

    He died in my arms at the age of 55 – and my life continues because he still makes me laugh daily.

    Yes, I learned – that suicide is a very permanent solution to a very temporary problem.

    I’m sad that dear Wink couldn’t hang in for longer. Her light continues. But ours is diminished of her brightness.

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  185. Within each of us, the kingdom of God, or Light, exists. In stillness, a depth of peace awaits. At times, the darkness appears in such a way that disparity manifests. This disparity harkens to be transcended. Through the dark womb of creation, life develops from the stillness into action. Fear not, God resides with you, awaiting recognition. Peace be with you!

  186. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your battle with depression. I can only hope that you are without pain and sorrow now. My kindest thoughts and wishes go out to your family and friends at this sad time.

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  188. Thank you, Wink, for the light, insight and joy you shared. My deepest condolences to your family and beloveds. May they be sustained and supported in this time of loss.

  189. Bless your heart. I pray that you are now at peace.

  190. Wink, dank je wel voor al je inspiratie en kleurrijke bijdrage in crafty-land. Ik hoop dat je het Licht zult vinden, daar, waar je nu bent.

  191. I just read about this by chance on Facebook the other day…so sad for your loss. I lost one of my brothers and my other brother’s brother-in-law a couple of years ago…they both took their own lives in the same way within months of each other….

  192. You gonna make it!

  193. A wonderful, creative being has left us. I’m so sorry. Wherever you are, may you be at peace and free from the darkness.

  194. I also have been in that dark place, DO NOT GIVE UP!! I am praying for you, you are not alone

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